Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 12 - Twelve Drummers Drumming

 “Will you always love me?” My heart has yearned for over twenty years to believe my husband when he would dutifully answer, ‘yes’. The first time our eyes met we were being introduced to each other as “this is your partner for an eight week mission trip” in another state. We have joked that our marriage was “arranged” by our Heavenly Father because we would have never chosen to date each other. Our personalities are extremely opposite and our unmet needs created quite an explosive relationship. Whenever I blew up or he shut down, I would blame the “Match Maker” for making a bad match.

When all hope for a “happy marriage” seemed lost, the Lord, our ‘Wonderful Counselor’ arranged another mission trip. Our tour guides and prayer ministers took us on a journey through our past very similar to the Christmas Carol.  Recognizing that I could change how I sinfully respond to life’s difficult circumstances released me from Scrooge-like bitterness and insecurity.

The pieces of my puzzled life started coming together around our 25th wedding anniversary as we were watching our son play the role of fiddler in Fiddler on the Roof. Wanting to know her true motivation, the play’s character Tevia asked his wife (on their 25th anniversary) “Do you really love me?” (their marriage had also been arranged by the Match Maker).  Was her heart really devoted to him or out of wifely ‘duty’?

I suddenly realized that I had stopped asking my husband that question. My eyes were opened on our anniversary as he whispered in my ear, “I still love you.” At last, my heart could rest in those words and the truth that my husband wants me. He is not just doing his ‘duty’.  Just like the family in Fiddler on the Roof, we are moving on to find a safer place in one another and being together.  Our life mission is to learn to rest and allow God to hold us steadfast in this peace and joy. Our commitment, to hold each other up to our Heavenly Father’s great love for us,  no matter how difficult the terrain. 

Our hope and trust is in the One who makes all things new and gives our hearts just the right match needed to bind us together in His love!